Nume on Antinatalism: A Q&A with Ellen C. Scott
By Nume for Nume's Blog on
Ellen: Have you always had antinatalist views? If not, when did it start for you? What changed?
Nume: Yeah, pretty much. When I was very young, I remember thinking it was strange that my parents and grandparents just assumed I’d have kids one day. Replying that I didn’t want to would be met with a “you’ll change your mind when you’re older,” which felt a lot like “you’ll like girls someday”. I just didn’t see the purpose in creating new people, and I was puzzled myself about why I was even made. It took confidence and time to start openly asking these questions.
I started identifying with the term ‘antinatalism’ in 2019 after I found the subreddit. It was very much an ‘aha’ moment, giving me useful language and resources to refine my ethical position.
Ellen: What do people in your life think of your antinatalism? Have you had any negative responses from friends, family, people at work?
Nume: I don’t want people in my life thinking of my antinatalism. It’s just one of my ethical positions that I keep to myself unless someone presses on why I haven’t impregnated my wife yet. Most people can relate to questioning from the impatient would-be grandparents. When it’s brought up, I ask them how they can justify creating somebody new, which they always fail to do. My parents and father-in-law are, of course devastated that they won’t get a grandchild.
I like it when the conversation ends quickly, and when it doesn’t, I put up a firm boundary and move on to the next topic.
Ellen: Have you ever swayed or had doubts? Has there ever been a temptation for you to have kids?
Nume: Not really.
I’ve skeptically gone out of my way to engage with philosophical arguments from the other side and never found them at all convincing.
Aside from that, there have been times when I’d pick preferred names or imagine what it’d be like to be a parent. Perhaps that’s where it starts for people who do go on to have kids, but I categorize those thoughts as self-serving.
Ellen: As a child-free-by-choice woman, I’ve often been told I’ll change my mind when I’m older or I “meet the right person” (I’m married!). What’s your relationship status? Do you have an answer to the suggestion that antinatalist views are just because you haven’t met the right person?
Nume: I’ve been married to ‘the right person’ for three years now. She’s also antinatalist. We met on Bumble using the ‘wants kids’ / ‘does not want kids’ tag to filter out bad matches. It’s great to be ethically in sync.
The suggestion that one’s antinatalist views are just because they haven’t met the right person is evidence of the peer pressure trap that society has set up on young people to obey the systems that demand child birth.
Ellen: How do your views differ from just being child-free by choice? In an ideal world, would no one procreate? Do you hope to convince other people to not have children?
Nume: Child-free is a lifestyle, and antinatalism is an ethical position that might inform it. You could compare it to being on a plant-based diet vs being vegan. Some antinatalists aren’t child-free because they had kids before taking the position.
It might be a good time here to state my definition for antinatalism: Antinatalism is the view that choosing to bring new sentient beings into existence is ethically wrong or unjustifiable.
You may find it interesting that antinatalism goes so far as to inform the foods I eat. Animal agriculture relies on the forced breeding of animals to supply their operations. In short, antinatalism is not compatible with eating most animal products.
It would be ideal for no one to procreate, but surely anyone can identify immediate societal problems that would arise from it happening overnight. Realistically, it will never happen or very gradually over thousands of years if it does. I don’t support coercion or any state program to bring that about.
I think people can only be convinced to take an antinatalist position if they meet us halfway. As an activist, I hope that I can help other people who unknowingly agree with the position find us and adopt our language and resources.
Ellen: What are your thoughts on the current panic around declining birth rates, and the incentives governments are offering to encourage people to have children? Are you worried by this?
Nume: I find it deeply unethical for governments to infrastructuralize children as supply to projects that don’t answer to the children they’re creating (workers for the economy, new soldiers for war, tax base, etc). If we have big problems, then wouldn’t it be rude to create new people into them? We need to redesign our institutions to support degrowth. Declining birth rates might be the best solution to tackling the climate crisis, but this is beside the ethical position of antinatalism. We should, of course support children who already exist through education and other means.
Ellen: How old are you and whereabouts are you based? Also, how would you like to be referred to, as Nume or a different name?
Nume: I’m 29 years old and based in Ontario, Canada. You can identify me just as ‘Nume’, an activist and the head moderator of the largest antinatalist community.
Ellen: In brief, why are you an antinatalist?
Nume: I’m an antinatalist because I can’t justify creating someone for their own benefit when they would only receive it after they come into existence. I call it ‘the act creates its addressee,’ which is grounded in answerability and authority. Other people have other reasons, of course. There are lots of reasons.
Ellen: What do people get wrong about antinatalism? Are there any misconceptions you’d like to correct? Anything you want to say to people who read this piece?
Nume: The biggest misconception is that we all hate children, parents, or life. This is not true for most of us. Another misconception is that we support eugenics or reproductive coercion. Antinatalism doesn’t pick winners or losers. The strongest forms of it are structurally attached to bodily autonomy.
As a community leader, I confess that our spaces have challenges in who we let represent us. We’ve taken this very seriously since I became head moderator, and especially following Palm Springs.